He's a Stud, She's a Slut, and 49 Other Double Standards Every Woman Should Know by Jessica Valenti

If he has a lot of sex, he's a stud; if she has a lot of sex, she's a slut. He's a bachelor, she's a spinster. When he runs for office, they talk about his politics; when she runs for office, they talk about her appearance. How do these double standards exist today - and what can be done about them? Jessica Valenti breaks these models down and combines them with steps to stop them from continuing in the future.

I remember when Julia Roberts appeared in public with an unshaven armpit, and I remember the outrage that followed it - yes, outrage. I remember reading letters to the editor to some magazine that talked about how dirty it was, how unhygienic it was, and how men didn't like it. I also remember thinking, 'If it's so unhygienic, why is it okay for men to have hair there? And do women's bodies really only exist to please men?' The Julia Roberts incident makes an appearance in He's a Stud, She's a Slut... , along with lots of other stories. There were so many parts in this book where I was nodding, agreeing, and saying 'Yes!' in my head. It takes feminist issues (and human rights issues) and puts them in a modern, practical context. Only in a few sections did it seem slightly dated, even after a couple years (like the occasional references to MySpace). But on the whole, very little has changed since this book was written, and some things have even gotten worse. Judges and public officials have said that if women didn't dress like sluts, maybe they wouldn't be raped. I was recently at a conference where a keynote speaker linked high numbers of women in higher education to the 'threat' that men are under attack. I've wondered why, after having a baby, some women are completely erased from their own Facebook profile - except as the role of 'mom.' I've had people to tell me to smile, to look happier, in public. This book helped me to articulate to myself why all these seemingly small things can be so frustrating: they're part of a larger picture and they aren't happening in isolation. This was one of the few times that I wish I hadn't been reading a library book, because I wanted to highlight pages, make notes in the margins, and hand it off immediately to some of my friends.

Find it at IndieBound.

Read more at Seal Press.

Read it with:
Full Frontal Feminism by Jessica Valenti
Big Girls Don't Cry by Rebecca Traister
BITCHfest by Lisa Jervis and Andi Zeisler
Enlightened Sexism by Susan J. Douglas
Click: When We Knew We Were Feminists by Courtney E. Martin and J. Courtney Sullivan